If You Could Read My Mind

Just in case I don’t get a chance to post something soon, I’m off to the dentist tomorrow for the semi-annual torture session, also known as cleaning and polishing and a check-up.  I’m hoping and keeping my fingers crossed that I don’t get the newer hygienist, as the last time I looked like a human sacrifice by the time she was through, and my mouth was sore for days afterward.  The other lady who works there has never left me in that condition after she was finished working.  Maybe I should ask his receptionist if the new staffer is having a bad day before I sit in her chair.  Geeze Louise!  Back in the day before his practice got as busy as it is now, he used to do the clean and polish himself… I think I prefer those days!  By the way, I DESPISE those cardboard x-ray film holders… nothing makes me gag faster than those damned things in my mouth.  I wish they would come up with a better system!

Have to do some shopping on the way back from downtown too.  Two of our basil plants have already given up and croaked.  Everything else that we planted is flourishing, but these two gave up after a little over a week.  Makes me think they were about to check out when we bought them.  Hmm… (switching into Arte Johnson mode) veddy interesting.  (If you’re not old enough to remember Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, look it up)  A trip to IKEA is in the plans and a trip to Sam’s Club to stock up on some non-perishables (mostly paper products… I hear they have big cases of Kleenex and TP… and never mind the smart remark about you always knew I was full of s*it, or you’re going over my knee!)

Long weekend this weekend (Monday is Victoria Day)… I imagine some of the folks are already stocking up on fireworks (ugh!).  It’s usually a noisy weekend around here.  You don’t mind it at nightfall, but when they are setting them off at 3:00 in the morning, that’s a bit of an irritant, don’t ya think?

Other than that, had a grand old gab with a friend (I won’t call him old, or he’ll bitchslap me from here to Timbuktu… ) … one of those conversations where you wonder where the time went by the time you are wrapping up.  Frankly, I can’t wait to talk again, so we can pick up where we left off, as there’s so much more to get caught up on.  Yes, we should talk more often than once in a while (no I didn’t forget how to dial a phone, smart ass!).  The telephone is a great invention, but this was one of those times where I wish we were neighbours… so much easier to drop by with a home-made apple pie and a pint of ice cream and natter away the evening while having dessert.  (Recalled this saying from a fridge magnet I saw… Life is short - Eat dessert first!)

I see a number of you picked up on Keith Olbermann’s Special Comment last night.  After I heard it on the podcast, I went to the website to watch the video… personally, I think he nailed it.  I was about ready to give my computer a round of applause.  If only I could editorialize that way.

Anything new with you?

See ya in the funny papers!

There was a recent news item in the tech press and blogs about a recent PlanetOut (that alone will set off some readers’ klaxons) survey stating that respondents said that Apple was a highly-rated gay-friendly brand beat out only by Bravo.

But, as was to be expected, many tech blogs and news sites picked up the typical tired old stereotypes in their articles or headlines.  Of course, after all my years working in and around I.T. departments, I’m hardly surprised.

Case in point, Ars Technica posted an article which has started the typical flame war in the comments section.  (Apparently they either do not moderate their comments, or thought they may wake up the usual suspects enough to post a comment.)

The headline?

“You go, girl: Apple among most gay-friendly brands“

My reaction was to yawn and think to myself, here we go again, let’s drag out all the old, tired, worn out stereotypes yet again.  And reading the comments following the story… same old tired, worn out stereotypes brought up and flung at other people yet again.  Honest to goodness, it sounds like a grade school playground at recess over there.  Be honest… how many people that you know in the community still drag out such tired old speech?  I thought that one died out in the 80s.

Did they really need the “you go, girl” part of the headline on the article?  How about just reporting the story, and leave the stereotypes on the editing room floor.

Apparently civility is dead, while the same old stereotypes keep getting resuscitated time and time again.

Somewhere out there in the big smoke tonight, is some complete, total, and thorough asshole… somebody lower than a snake’s balls…

I am never disappointed with the daily dose of idiots roaming the streets of the city.

Some scumbag jerkoff asshole loser decided to get their jollies by defacing the granite memorial to firefighters who died on the job at Queen’s Park in downtown Toronto Monday night around 9:00 p.m.

What kind of sick, demented, twisted, dysfunctional mind comes up with such goofy shit?

Some lowlife spray-painted anti-government graffiti all over the granite slabs that make up the provincial fallen firefighters memorial monuments.

Un-farking-believable!

Here is some of the media coverage so far:

CTV Toronto - Ontario tribute to fallen firefighters vandalized

The Globe and Mail - Police seek vandal after Ontario memorial defaced

The Toronto Star - Firefighters’ memorial vandalized

The Toronto Sun - Memorials defaced in ‘despicable’ act

You know, up here in the frozen north, we may not go for that chest-thumping jingoism that you get a regular dose of on television from south of the border, but dammitalltohell, we honour those who gave the ultimate sacrifice, whether as firefighters, police officers, or members of the various military branches. We take a certain amount of pride and express our sorrow, in honouring those who gave their lives in the service of others. There might not be concerts and television shows and hollow speeches from politicians, but we take the time to pause and remember those honourable people and their families. That’s why you find small tributes left at the various memorials across the land year-round, not just on one date on the calendar.

It was bad enough a few years back when some drunken yobs decided to get their yuks by whipping out their little johnsons and taking a piss on the national war memorial in Ottawa after some drunken partying. They were caught on video, some pinhead actually posted it on a video-sharing site, and that led the cops to the door of those boors… and after they cleaned up their mess, they spent time meeting veterans of the various wars and got an earful about why that memorial holds so much meaning for them.

But, this one is worse. You can scrub away the urine stains and the smell at the national war memorial, but because these granite slabs are porous, it is likely that they cannot be completely cleaned as the granite will absorb the paint… therefore, they will likely have to be completely replaced if the paint stains cannot be removed. Besides the anti-government diatribes, it looks as if this pinheaded waste of skin also chucked entire cans of paint on some of the memorial slabs with names of the 420+ firefighters who have died in the line of duty.

And you just know that this cowardly bastard would never go rushing into a burning building to rescue someone who was in danger.  Perhaps they need to be reminded that the next time they dial 911 for an emergency, that in almost every situation, the firefighters are the first on the scene, whether for a rescue, a medical emergency, or a fire (it is called a tiered response, when dispatch sends police, fire, and paramedics, for those of you playing the home game).  And when they come running up to your door, it was their memories that you shat upon with your thoughtless act.

Hopefully, the Ontario Provincial Police camera nearby will have caught an image of the creep who did this.

Suitable punishment for this crime? I think the pinhead who did it should have to pay the ENTIRE COST of repair, cleaning and replacement of the granite memorial slabs that this idiot defaced. And after every last cent is paid for by this bonehead, then they should lock him in a room with some of the co-workers of those men and women on that memorial. Let them mete out the appropriate punishment.

If you have a beef with the government, do the Canadian thing… write a letter of protest, write a letter to the editor of the newspaper, or start a petition… or join the professional protesters, whose same faces you see carrying different signs every weekend. Or start a blog and point out the hypotwits in politics who are the usual suspects when something dumb is being done. Write essays and editorials and rant online about them like so many others with a functioning, logical mind do.

What ever happened to honour and respect?

What the hell is wrong with some people?

see more dog pictures

Much of what I would have said for this post … I said it last year, and so, feel free to review what I wrote on Mothers’ Day 2007.

Man that year went by fast, didn’t it?

What more could I add to what I had to say last year… hmm…

I have been luckier than many that I have come across over the years, as they have not had the fondest memories of family life, particularly when it came to parents.  Now, the paternal unit is, I admit freely, a Class A Asshole in the highest degree… and that is where the difference is so noticeable/drastic, because everything he is, Mom is not, and everything Mom is, he definitely is not.

So, on this day, after dinner is done, the dishes are washed and put away, and my sister and I have sat back to have a grand old gab around the table with Mom, we’ll raise a glass to honour our one and only Mother.  The chief cheerleader for everything we have ever attempted in our lives.  The source of wisdom and sage advice.  The source of love without condition that cannot be measured by any terms known to modern science.  More vicious than a mother lion when her children are threatened, the owner of the best withering stare when forced to deal with the brain-dead types in the workplace.  And the woman who never complains.  If there was a song to describe her, it would have to be “I’ll Always Be There.”

She has survived ovarian cancer (detected early), breast cancer (detected early as well - she’s a fan of getting regular check-ups as you could well imagine), and major kidney surgery.  The only complaint she had after the kidney surgery was that the staples were itchy beyond belief, as they had to do other repair work and the incision was longer than usual.  Well, you’re at home recovering, I told her, ditch the knickers and wear your most comfortable sweat pants.  Ooooh… how daring, she said, going commando at home.  (and some of you wonder where I get my sense of humour from?)  At least she was comfortable until the nurse came in and removed the staples.

I always chuckle to myself when I drop by her office and the ladies at her workplace always ask me to bow my head, they have to look for the halo  It’s the littlest things that give her the biggest thrills.  She likes to brag about how she comes home and dinner is ready to be put on the table, and the housework is done, etc.  Well hell, I work from home, why wouldn’t I?  To me it’s no big thing, but to her, it’s bragging material.  The same thing she did after her birthday and she bragged for days about what we did for her birthday.  Doesn’t seem like much, if you measure it in a financial way, but, the thought behind it just thrills her down to her toes.  I always get a chuckle when she comes through the door and says, I was thinking about having “___” for dinner, only to find that was what I already had gotten ready.  ”I really wish you would stay out of my mind before you stumble across the dirty bits!” she exclaims, and then we both crack up laughing.  And when she completes a sentence I began, I remind her of the same thing, as my mental bits are likely filthier than hers are, and again we both fall over with laughter.

Over the years some have asked about why our family is still so close… well, a couple of reasons really.  One was it took both Mom and myself to look after grandma (who was actually Mom’s EX-mother-in-law whose own children did not step up to the plate) in her later years — combine mental illness and Alzheimer’s disease, and you can imagine that we had our hands full 24/7… grandma didn’t go into a nursing home until we got to the point that we just could not manage her care between the two of us, and we had cleaned out our bank accounts paying for home care services.  And, we both expect that as my sister’s M.S. worsens, she will likely move back with us full time, and we’ll look after her needs as well.  And my sister always said, in her own dry humour fashion, that we had a common enemy… the mighty mouth of the north, aka the paternal unit.  The three of us have always been close, and we’ve always looked out for each other… besides, we have yet to see anyone else rushing to volunteer for that position.  So, to quote my sister on the topic, in her rather brusque fashion, “if people don’t like it, or understand it, they can just lick me.” (again, you wonder where I get my sense of humour from??)

Mom’s never been one to sit idle.  That’s why after retiring from a job she worked at for 40 years, and after 9 months of early retirement, she was starting to get cabin fever and picked up the job she does now, which she really enjoys doing.  I would love to have her sitting at home with her nose in a book or doing something else she enjoys (yes, we’re both big-time bookworms), but she likes to be busy.

And Saturday evening, we sat on the balcony once it was totally dark outside, and she marveled at the new solar-powered butterfly lights that I added to the garden this year.  It’s a string of 9, and the tiny LEDs inside blink on and off individually, so it looks like there are little butterflies hanging out amongst the plants.  (I’ll post pictures once the last of the flowers are bought and planted.)  Mom was tickled pink sitting there watching them.  A small thing to me, but a big thing to her.  Since we moved to this side of the apartment building which gets sunlight all day long, Mom loves to sit on the balcony looking at the garden (pink geraniums, multi-coloured pansies, and 14 different herb plants, including 3 catnip plants — so the cats can get wasted — planted so far this year).

I was lucky this year to be in the Hallmark store the day they were putting the Mothers’ Day cards on the racks, as I got a good selection to choose from.  After a few attempts, I found one that best expressed what I was thinking… and it says inside:

When I think back over the years and remember all the special things you’ve done for me, I realize how lucky I am to have a wonderful mom like you.  Whenever I’ve needed your support, you were there for me.  And you’ve taught me so much about life and love and giving, and those are lessons I’ll never forget.  Maybe having a mom like you has spoiled me a bit, but don’t ever think I don’t appreciate and love you because I do… with all my heart.

(And while Mom likes to brag about her kids, we kids like to brag about her too.)

And for many of you who are sad on this day, missing your own mother, consider that in many ways she is still with you, as she lives on in your memories and in your heart.  Look back on the good times with fondness.  Do some little thing today to honour her memory, whether it is preparing her favourite dish, planting her favourite flowers, or sharing your memories of her with someone close to you.  You can still celebrate her today in some way.  Consider that she left her imprint on the universe… she raised you to be the person that you are today.

So, to all the mothers out there in the universe, may you have the best Mothers’ Day ever!

And for the rest of you, give your mom an extra hug, hold her a few seconds longer, and remind your mom that you love her to bits.

I came across this statistic while reading the May issue of Harper’s Magazine.

Fascinating and disappointing.

There is much work to be done yet.  The picture is not as rosy as some might paint it to be.

Factor by which a gay U.S. college student is more likely to attempt suicide than a straight one: 2

Factor by which a closeted student is: 6

Have we become too complacent?

If you live in Southern Ontario you will have seen a lot of coverage in the newspapers, on the internet, and on the television and radio today about Tim Horton’s, and their firing and re-hiring of a woman in one of their franchise locations in London, Ontario. The links to the various local, national, and international news outlets stories are below:

Reuters International - Woman fired for giving 16-cent treat to toddler

Epicurious - Tim Horton’s Hates Babies

The Globe and Mail - Tims eats humble pie to avert PR catastrophe

CBC - Tempest over a Timbit: fired Tim Horton’s cashier gets her job back

CTV - Employee fired over free Timbit getting job back

The Toronto Star - Tim Horton’s rehires mother fired over Timbit

The Toronto Sun - Woman fired, rehired for giving baby free Timbit

City News - Woman Fired For Giving Tot A Free Timbit

Here’s the thing. When you have some power-mad moron who is promoted to a management job, and they are horribly under-qualified, as was obvious in this case, and when personalities dictate management policy over the policy manual or basic COMMON SENSE (which was obviously lacking in this case), then you get a massive dose of bad publicity as the chain’s head office has been getting today.

Please allow me to contribute to that piling on.

How stupid do you have to be to allow this to take place? Are your franchisees and their management teams not receiving any basic business training? (That is a particularly obvious YES in this case.) Is there no monitoring at all over what takes place in your franchise locations? Do your regional managers regularly discuss confidential personnel matters in public, with the media? If Gordon Ramsay can employ over 200 mystery shoppers to give him daily reports on what happens in his restaurants, perhaps it might be a good idea to invest in something similar, d’ya think?

So, a regular customer comes into your store, they are holding a fussy baby, and rather than having a small child having a meltdown and disturbing your customers, you offer the child a treat which improves their mood and avoids a meltdown which will only serve to irritate other customers in the store and garner the mother holding the child a plethora of filthy looks. You know you have all done it before, someone is dragging a shrieking child around a store, and you shoot a few withering looks at the parent involved. As Mother has always said, any parent worthy of children knows that when the little tykes get tired and cranky, or need changing, you had best deal with the issue straight away. Small children get overtired and then they get cranky as all get out, and what they need is to go home and have a nap… continuing to drag that child from store to store is not in their best interests. But, some people lack the capacity for common sense (especially if you are a manager in this Tim Horton’s store in London, Ontario).

So, for the sake of a 16 cent lump of fried dough, you are willing to chuck a long-term employee onto the street, because there have been complaints about one of the management team (and one of the managers thinks that this employee was the one who complained) - according to some media reports early in the day, and you think it is a firing offence. If someone is skimming money from the till, then THAT is a firing offence. But over a 16 cent piece of fried dough? That is quite simply like killing a bug with a nuclear missile.

Some people really need a good swift slap upside the head, or a good swift kick in the ass.

Were I in the corporate head office, I’d be taking a long and hard look at the management idiot who instigated this whole thing, and publicly embarrassed the company throughout the entire day and for days to come. When the media sinks their teeth into a juicy story like this one, it is going to be reported on for days on end, and with the assistance of the internet, you are going to be GLOBALLY embarrassed. I’ll bet more than a few of your shareholders are more than a little bit pissed right now. (I checked my portfolio overnight and one of the mutual funds holds THI … time to have a chat with the fund manager about this.)

Amongst many of my contacts in the concrete jungle (also known as the financial district for you regular readers playing the home game), the standard statement I heard throughout the day was that the next time they have a desire for a coffee or a doughnut, the refrain will be “anywhere but Tim’s.” One VP I know at one company told me via e-mail today that he would rather pay Starbucks $5 for a cup of coffee before he would contribute to this kind of corporate behaviour at Tim Horton’s. He also said that they immediately removed Tim Horton’s from their list of approved vendors for providing treats for meetings and other events. And at the earliest opportunity, he will be passing along his company’s decision to blacklist Tim Horton’s to executives from other companies whom he sees regularly at various social events. Looks like this dumb move is going to cost the local stores some major coin. Some people in the upper echelons still see the value of their employees, and why would they support a company who does not?

And don’t bitch and whine about me being unfair… if you had the appropriate policies in place, none of this would have hit the fan publicly, now would it? Especially if your regional manager had kept her big mouth shut when the media came calling. Doesn’t she look like a proper prat now, eh? Oh, and you can just bet that after reading the comments IN THE MEDIA from your regional manager about personnel matters, that more than a few barristers are sharpening their pencils in anticipation of the lawsuit that they are going to slap you silly with. I hope your regional manager has a large appetite for generous servings of crow, as I suspect she’s going to be eating a lot of it in the coming weeks and months (if she still has a job once you people realize the mess she has made IN THE MEDIA REPORTS INTERNATIONALLY).

I am sure the corporate types will huddle in conference rooms, looking to try and find some way to rehabilitate their corporate image after this latest incident. They will spend copious amounts of money on specialized consultants to get piles of paper containing reports and recommendations loaded with corporate buzzwords and jargonistic claptrap. Why don’t they call me, and I’ll give them my crash course in customer delight and corporate best practices, and it can be done on two sheets of paper and take a few hours in one afternoon. And I’ll even promise to leave the whips and cattle prods at home.

Recommendation number 1, tell those three idiot managers at that store and the regional manager with the loose lips, “leave now, and don’t let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya.”

Recommendation number 2 - customer delight can be achieved for pennies a day, you will earn massive amounts of goodwill, and your shareholders will be happy when they see that you don’t need to spend millions on corporate consultants - common sense is still free of charge and you won’t have to spend a week at some corporate retreat coming up with some nonsensical corporate mission statement to do it

This is going to cost you profits as the story will live on the internet for quite some time. Want to see how? Take a look at all the international news outlets who have reported on this story. I would say you have managed to make complete asses of yourselves GLOBALLY. You might want to congratulate those three idiot managers in that store and the big-mouthed regional manager who have embarrassed you WORLD-WIDE now. Oh, and a press release just ain’t gonna cut it folks… you’re going to need to make some major change of some kind to prove you are more than just some uncaring corporate machine. Yes, this story has been reported on every continent on the face of the planet. Hell, it’s even being reported on behind the Iron Curtain! I somehow feel you are about to make the top three list on MSNBC’s Countdown for The Worst Person In The World. And if the corporate entity (THI-NYSE, THI-TSX) isn’t on that list, then the regional manager quoted in many international stories definitely should be. She commented to the media on personnel matters that are supposed to be confidential. She’d be first on my list to be shown the door… DEFINITELY! Perhaps your Human Resources department should be calling her in for a little chat, eh? (And no, I’m not going to put her name up here, YOU KNOW who she is.)

Man oh man, there are a lot of brain-dead idiots still walking around out there!

Or, to quote comedian Tammy Pescatelli (who is truly hilarious) … “What the hell’s wrong with you?”

Noticed on my feeds today, a post that you must read before the day is done…

Check out Come On People on The Chronicle.

Read it carefully, there will be a test later.

I saw the gentlemen of Rescue Ink on The Ellen DeGeneres Show today.

Here’s the link to Ellen’s site - Halo for Some Burly Angels

Here’s the link to the Rescue Ink website.  Note:  Their website is jammed with traffic, so you might have to reload the page a few times.

Gentlemen, I hope you can hear the cheers and standing ovation you are receiving today.  Keep up the good work - keep kicking asses and taking names!!

And here is a video from YouTube of their recent appearance on a New York morning show: